I don’t know how they do it.

Have you ever met someone who loves everyone and isn’t afraid to let them know? I just met a woman a little while back. We have no communication except once a week I say hi, she says hi and that’s about it. A couple weeks ago she called and left a couple messages for me asking for some info on a project I did and each time she ended her message with “I love you”.

Now, I am a nice person. I really am. I tend to care for people a little to deeply once I get to know them and that is why I also tend to keep my distance. I keep a small group of people very dear to me, and I become casual friends with everyone else. I learned the hard way a long time ago that I had to do that in order to keep my sanity and not become so wrapped up in everyone else’s lives that I forgot my own!

And the words “I love you” are very, very important to me. I do not take them lightly. I take them to heart when someone says them to me, and I don’t say it unless I really mean it. And if I really mean it, that means that I have made the conscious decision to make your life a part of mine. Which means I am going to walk alongside you. It means that whatever you need, whatever problems you have, I will shoulder them with you if you want me too.

I am an ENFJ. I am a Libra. According to the Clifton StrengthsFinder Test there are four theme categories: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building and Strategic Thinking. Out of my top 5 strengths FOUR of them were in Relationship Building and one was strategic thinking - which just means that I know how to help people solve problems by asking questions that no one else is asking.

It is in my nature, the way God intended me to be, that I care about people. My name Connie means “constant, steadfast, faithful”. (Coincidentally, Jean means “God is gracious” - hello? Does anyone know me?)

My point is that I don’t know how people can just throw those words around… and one more thing -

I said these words today to a woman. Actually I said these words like three times today to a woman. An amazing woman who is leaving me… :(

I will never forget the first time I met Rebecca Whitlock.  She had just been named PWOC President at Fort Stewart last year and I was a candidate to take the publicity position. I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me. She asked to speak to me and within a couple minutes of talking with her about the position I really felt that she was questioning my ability to do the job, which to me was ridiculous because if ANYONE was right for publicity SURELY it was the copy writer with experience in social media! But she ended up letting me take the position anyway and it became very evident over the summer that this chick meant business! When she said she had plans for my job she wasn’t kidding.

I could not have done that job as well as I did without her. ABSOLUTELY no question about it. Abraham Lincoln said: 

“I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down…”

Over the course of the year, I really grew to like her a lot. She was the best leader I have ever had in anything. She stayed on top of things, she rooted us on, she was humble but took care of problems as they arose. She did many hard things and made them look easy. We became friends.

I know I can call on her whenever I need to, no matter the time, and though she might inwardly be annoyed, she would never tell me she was… I would trust her with my children without a second thought (they adore her!)… 

You know in Dead Poets Society when they all stand on the desks and say “Captain, My Captain”? There have actually been a couple moments when I looked at her and thought to myself “captain, my captain”… I hope one day I can serve with her again somewhere… just not Korea… :) 

And that’s where my dear friend and her husband Bobby are going. They both graduated from bible college and together they answered the call to become missionaries to our military many moons ago. I have faith that they will have a great time and that they will be blessed, but I will miss her and our Ruby Tuesday lunches greatly.

It’s okay though - the kids already have plans for us to Skype. :)

So here she is, a lady who I love and am glad that God put her in my world:

Rebecca is in the red, next to Sara, another woman I love.

There have been three specific instances in the last two days where the Holy Spirit has totally showed up in my life in the right way and the absolute right time. I want to write about one of these now.

So yesterday I saw yet another tweet or status about my family having plans to do something that doesn’t include me. Now, I don’t really expect anything they do to include me since I live four hours away, but every time I see @HebleLove, I get excited because I am supposed to be a part of that and then when I see what the message is about, my heart sinks because once again, I am not a part of any of it. My family is everything to me and includes my best and closest friends so having ALL of them (husband included) so far away is really hard on me. Truthfully, a lot harder than I let on.

But when I saw the message yesterday, something triggered an emotional response that I am usually able to block from surfacing. After the initial sting of another game night or dinner or trip or whatever, I am usually able to just let it roll off my back, but every so often it really hurts to see them. I was really trying to block it yesterday, the kids were in the car with me, I didn’t want to alarm them, but in my mind a million thoughts were popping in and out, and with every one of them, I was getting more upset and sad.

You know, I love my husband. I would go to the ends of the world with him. But he isn’t here. My family isn’t here. My kids don’t have family here. I keep myself busy but nothing compares to my family. Nothing. Moving so far away from family is and has always been the hardest part of being in the military, by far.

So as I am having this pity party for myself, the DJ comes on and introduces a new song by NeedtoBreathe, one of my favorite bands. I stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to turn up the radio to listen to it for the first time. And wouldn’t you know, my God shows up.

Keep Your Eyes Open Lyrics:

If you could soldier on
Headstrong into the storm
I’ll be here waiting on the other side
Don’t look back
The road is long
The first days of the war are gone
Take back your former throne and turn the tide

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love

Just past the circumstance
The first light, a second chance
No child could ever dance the way you do, oh
Tear down the prison walls
Don’t start the curtain call
Your chains will never fall until you do

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Don’t let the night become the day
Don’t take the darkness to the grave
I know pain is just a place
The will has been broken
Don’t let the fear become the hate
Don’t take the sadness to the grave
I know the fight is on the way
When the sides have been chosen

Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown 
Open up your eyes
Keep your eyes open
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
So show me your fire, show me your heart
You know I’ll never let you fall apart if you
Keep your eyes open, my love

Yeah, I cried. Luckily the radio was up so high that the kids didn’t see or hear me…

It doesn’t make me miss home or my husband any less. But it does help knowing He hears me and has a message for me…

Oh, how He loves us…

I hate when I want to write a timely post and by the time I get everything together and get it done, it is the next day already.

This post was conceived on Mothers Day, with my mom in mind. I have been thinking about her a lot lately. I really wish I could have spent Mothers Day with her but it didn’t work out this year, with us being a couple of states away and all.

But this post is dedicated to her. I want to share some things that will always remind me of my mom, and anyone else who knows her will probably agree with most of these, but a couple of them are just mine. :)

1. Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train

And I don’t mean that in a bad way. She loves this song and so do I.

2. Texas Pete and Diet Coke

3. Alice Faye

4. Guiding Light

The only soap I watched from the time I was little to the time it went off the air.

5. Potato Soup - cause she makes the best! And Baked Beans too!

6. Every Birthday Party. In our house, we celebrated every birthday with at least cake and ice cream. We always sang and when I was grown and married and far, far away she would gather the kids and call me just to sing. She still does that with us when we are all there and its Grandma’s birthday. I know there are some people who do not celebrate birthdays like that, and that seemed so crazy to me the first time I heard it, but we will always celebrate another year of life the way my mama raised me too. :)

7. Kiss

Because when I was little she dressed up like one of the band members and scared the crap out of us. And because I had this - the first barbie I remember… I am pretty sure it was the Gene Simmons one…

8. The Growing Pains Theme

9. Steel Magnolias

She likes to think that she would be Weezer, but I have always thought of her as Sally Fields character, M’Lynn… 

10. Stevie Nicks

I cannot listen to a Stevie Nicks song without thinking of my mom…

My mom pretty much rocks. And I am glad that she is my mom. I know that I am a lot like her…

I have learned a lot from her over the years but the very best thing that she has taught me is that if someone is in need - you help them… It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of resources yourself, whatever you can give, you give…

I absolutely love that about her. She would do anything for the people she loves and strangers alike. 

Thanks mom - for being awesome. :)

I love you!

I like my blog. You might not really know that because of my lack of posts in the past month or two. See what happened is there was A LOT going on. I need a vacation, both physically and emotionally from the last month and a half.

Good stuff happened. I successfully completed leading my New Testament study at PWOC on Fort Stewart, I “finished strong”, as my friend Rebecca would say, in my other responsibilities at PWOC. Tomorrow I will be done with my coaching duties, as Abby’s T-ball season comes to an end. I have volunteered at the kids’ schools and made every effort to have us at church on Wednesdays AND Sundays, which I have to admit has not been always easy for us as a family because its just so tempting to sleep in and lay around on Sundays (it IS a day of rest, right?) and we get such great teaching on Wednesday nights at Savannah Christian. Best of all, we are finished with 1/3 of this deployment already.

I wanted to post how excited I was that the leadership selection committee at PWOC asked me to take the 1st VP - Spiritual Life position for the next year - but at the time it had not been officially announced so there was one blog post I couldn’t write.

And then there was the bad, discouraging, confusing, make you want to pull your hair out stuff! And I won’t go into it now for fear of doing exactly what I restrained myself from doing. Just know that there were many, many posts in my head that I did not write because I didn’t want to post out of anger OR be continually trying to explain myself or my beliefs to people who are not willing or able to hear what I am saying anyway. I seriously could have written a blog post every single day in the past month - I thought about it almost every. single. day. But the few comments or questions I asked on FB seemed to cause enough drama and discussion.

Then I prayed. And I really felt that I didn’t need to explain myself. God gave me peace about what I believe. So I skipped the blog.

On the subject of all of that I will say that it had nothing to do with my family.

And God is love… 

Either way, life seems to be moving into that beautiful, wonderful time of year we call summer, which for us means the pool, the beach, some traveling, library summer reading club and just taking it easy! I am sooo ready!

And I am ready to spend more time sharing me on this blog too. Starting now. :)

I never thought that I would be writing a blog about the Foo Fighters. Really.

But a friend on FB posted a Foo Fighters song tonight and it happens to be one of the most awesome songs ever and it made me think - Hmmmmmm, the Foo Fighters are pretty dang awesome.

So here are my top 5 Foo Fighters songs, for your enjoyment. :)

5. My Hero

4. Best of You

3. Walk

2. The Pretender

What if I say I’m not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays?
(You know they all… pretend)
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

So who are you?

1. Everlong

and I wonder
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I’ll ever ask of you
you’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when

And then there are the honorable mentions:

Big Me

Times Like These

Monkey Wrench

Learn to Fly

I liked a few Nirvana songs but I wasn’t a big fan of Nirvana. Nirvana breaking up was probably the best thing that ever happened for Dave Grohl - the man is a creative genius.